Be Death the Price
by Moosxaxlot
Summary: All is fair in love and war, isn't it? Warnings on malexmale pairing RLSB Remus and Sirius - Violence - Rape - Intense cursing in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Title; **Be Death the Price**

Pairings; Remus and Sirius - James and Lily - possible other notable ones.

Disclaimer;** Harry Potter** and all it's characters are only my servants! I don't own them. Only control them for this brief time. Sadly... -sniff-

Perspective; Remus Lupin

Notable texts;

"..." - talking

(...) - added thoughts

_Italics_ - memories or stressed words

**bolds** - stressed words mostly or italic'd spot

* * *

"I'll be gone a month this time."

"What if something happens? I can't stand it! This is all so... damn confusing!"

"I know, hun. But you have to understand. There are _lives_ I need to protect."

At his words I could no longer keep my eyes on his. I sensed more than saw him walking over to the couch I sat on. Next thing I knew his hand had grabbed my chin with such care that I couldn't bring myself to fight him as his lips drew closer and his breath tickled across my cheeks, chin, and lips. "I know, Sirius... I love you..." I heard myself whispering.

"I know you do. I love you, Remus..."

-xxx-

"... Remus."

My eyes snapped open at the voice and I frantically looked about the room. A blurred perspective of my too white walls, the bedside table, the bright red sheets with little puppy paws all over them, (Sirius' idea, I promise) and a messy haired haired marauder with glasses all passed before my vision and I felt tears prickling at the back of my eyes. "You aren't him..." I whispered so softly that I was positive he wouldn't hear me.

"I'm sorry..." he muttered, and I wasn't sure whether this meant he had in fact distinguished my soft voice from the eerie and unnatural silence around him or if he knew what I'd been dreaming of before. It didn't matter either way. We'd had this same reoccurring moment every morning for that past two months.

"You know it's not your fault." I countered, voice more strong than before as I bit back the tears and rubbed almost angrily at my eyes. I wasn't really agitated. I just wished things were different. I wished that Sirius had never left for that mission. It had been three months. Two longer than his promised one. I bit back anther sob as my heart refused to ignore what my head so desperately tried to hide. But who was I fooling? James Potter was one of my best mates in the entire world. He could read me like a book... Wait... James reading? No, scratch that. He could read me like a Qudditch game.

"Yeah. But it's not your's either." his words stung. They always stung. There was a pause through which neither James nor I dared to speak.

A sharp wailing snapped us both back. I'd jumped out of bed and grabbed my wand in an instant just as the stag animagus shouted a rather profane term followed by the name of his young son. I forced myself to relax. It was only Harry. Not that I didn't have any reason to be so jumpy. This was a war and it helped to be prepared for anything. I nodded lightly toward James as Lily screamed up the stairs (using many more words and a much more angry tone than I) as I myself muttered quietly, "Go get 'im, will you?" My friend nodded back and turned away, pausing at the door.

"Breakfast is almost ready. You'd benefit from eating a bit more." with that, the eldest Potter walked out of the room, leaving me to dwell over my own thoughts as usual. I had a lot of time to myself despite these random naggings. But today had been ever so slightly off. James had never asked me to eat like that. It wasn't routine. Therefore it left me actually considering the idea. Was I even hungry? I generally didn't eat much anymore. Not for a lack of trying, but nothing seemed to spark my interest about the food that kept me going throughout any given day. I sighed as a thought came to my mind. No, more of a memory than anything.

_"Moooooony! You gotta get up! Lily's here with food for our special day!"_

_The annoying ranting was complimented by the after effects of someone leaping upon the mattress and slender fingers tickling at my bare chest. Trust Sirius to take advantage to the fact that I never wore a night shirt with him around. In fact, many nights found me pantless in the morning as well. I chose to groan in response as a weak laugh attacked my sleep-fogged brain._

_"Sleepy heads get punished!" Sirius purred delicately into my ear. I snapped into alertness as my eyes widened at the threat._

_"Sirius!" I hissed before quickly adding an argument as his mouth got closer and closer to my stomach. I knew what he was about to do. And though his lips against my skin was no new thing, this was different as it was more along the lines of undesired torture of tickles. "It's our anniversary! Play nice or this boyfriend will not give you your gift!" Sirius glanced up, having an internal war. I decided to push the edge and free myself quickly. "And Lily is downstairs!"_

_"Fine, fine. But it better be a good gift!" he finally agreed, swapping the direction of his head to give me a good morning kiss instead. "Food now, Remmycakes. I'm hungrrrry."_

_I kissed the tip of his nose before replying with an innocent little smile. "If you hadn't been so obsessed over Lily's breakfast offer and would have actually eaten dinner last night, maybe you wouldn't desire food so much."_

_He rolled his gray eyes, a twinkle of smile behind them as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Maybe you don't understand. It's __**Lily's**__ cooking!" he grinned with more sincerity as he dragged me to the door._

I could only put on a dull smile as I quickly changed and headed downstairs. No harm in at least seeing what Lily had made. Even from halfway up the stairs my werewolf senses helped me to determine that bacon and eggs seemed this morning's breakfast of choice. I looked casually down at my hands as I slipped into the room and grabbed a piece of bacon from a paper towel.

Lily must have seen my movement from the corner of her eyes because she turned quickly and was about to slap at my hands before stopping suddenly in the middle of a sentence. "James Potter! Don't touch the foo- Oh, good morning Remus. Help yourself, plenty to go around you know!"

I waved nonchalantly before giving a soft reply. "No need, Lily. I think I'm going to go for a walk." I began to head for the door, hearing the woman's loud sigh. I knew she was contemplating calling me back over. Shaking my head lightly I put my hand on the doorknob.

"Remus..." I knew that tone. She didn't want me to leave but knew she had no argument to keep me there. That was until the fireplace flashed bright green and a crack signified someone had flooed in.

I couldn't help but to silently curse whoever it was. Now I would probably _have_ to stay. Sure enough as James rushed down the stairs with little Harry in one hand and his wand drawn in the other, Albus Dumbledore stepped through the grate and gave them all a twinkling smile. "Good morning."

"_Jesus_, Albus! You almost gave me a heart attack!" a quiet laughing started about the group at James' words, but I found myself opting out.

That was when the older man turned to me. Of course. "Remus, I need to speak to you in private." I sighed and nodded lightly. If James wasn't treating me like a child than the headmaster of Hogwarts School most _definitely was not_. (Note my sarcasm, if you would) I followed him without a word as he lead the way upstairs and to my room as if I were the guest rather than him. He even sat on my bed (well, Lily and James' bed. My sheets, but nothing else really. Even if Lily had made me move in after what had happened two months ago, I didn't like to think of the place as mine.) before motioning me to sit as well. I perched cautiously on the edge and waited silently for him to speak. "I've got a mission for you."

My heart sunk. As horrifying as the idea was, I knew I had to accept. "Yeah..?"

"I need you to visit a pack of werewolves. Your objective would be to pin them against one of the packs we know the Death Eaters have already recruited. It's too dangerous to have them join us, as you know." Albus' words both thrilled and destroyed me. That old elation at the idea of a new mission coupled with the thought of how very similar this seemed to what Sirius had done before never coming back and my mind jumbled into a mess of thoughts and emotions that I could only hope stayed far from my carefully neutral face.

But on the note of the mission's contents, I knew exactly why it was dangerous. My lover was the answer. He had been suppose to gather information the first half of the month he was to be done with that and do the exact thing I had just been assigned for the other half. Pin them against another pack. It was a cruel game but as the saying goes, all is fair in love and war. "I can't refuse you, Albus. I owe you so much already..."

"I know it's... soon, Remus. And you do know I really appreciate this." I could only nod silently as he played with his long gray beard. (quickly turning white, mind you!) We probably sat in silence for about half a minute before he quickly stood. "Come by Hogwarts for the details. Around eleven-o-clock." I nodded again and with a swish of his cloak Albus was up and leaving. I heard him and the Potters saying their goodbyes before I finally allowed myself to stand.

Que the dramatic music as I walked calmly into the nearest washroom and puked up the bacon and anything else in my stomach. This was not going to be easy.

* * *

So this is my new story. To those reading **Torn Between Ties **I am not giving it up. I just felt like writing this so I did.

If you like this, let me know! Reviews inspire me. Who knows, I may reply to you at the beginning of the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Title; **Be Death the Price**

Pairings; Remus and Sirius - James and Lily - possible other notable ones.

Disclaimer; Sadly **Harry Potter** is not mine no matter how many times I manipulate it's characters.

Perspective; Remus Lupin

Notable texts;

"..." - talking

(...) - added thoughts

_Italics_ - stressed words

* * *

"The _what_?"

"The prisoner. I mean, honestly Romulus! Us werewolves have got ta' stick up for ourselves somehow."

"Yeah... I guess." I muttered softly, eyes wandering toward the hut the werewolf had been talking about; that dreaded place where they kept some sort of wizard prisoner. I just knew it was more than my duty to check it out. At least, it was the duty of my own self-honor.

"... the Alpha's hut... Romulus, are you listening?"

God I hated having to use a fake name. I'm Remus, dammit! _Remus_! I held back this remark and smiled lightly. Couldn't blow my cover, after all. "I'm sorry... I get spacey this time of the month." I got a sympathetic nod from my escort and a somewhat amused reply to my reference of the moon.

"I know exactly what you mean."

-xxx-

Eleven-o-clock couldn't seem to come fast enough. I'd been pacing my room, occasionally throwing something into a duffel bag I'd laid open on the bed. Most of it wasn't _really_ mine. Like the shirt I was currently folding. It had belonged to Sirius. And though three months and a different house and washing machine had taken his smell off of it, things just seemed that much easier when I wore it. Or any of his clothes for that matter. Though I'm not going to lie. Most of his things were too big for me as he'd been taller than me, and I looked quite foolish walking around in them. Then again I'd always been the type to have unfitting and often shabby clothes due to the little fact that I'm a werewolf and low on money.

James had occasionally came to the door asking if I intended to tell him what was going on. Each time I gave a polite, "I don't think so." and listened carefully as he sighed and walked off down the hall. I felt bad, leaving him in the dark like that. He was one of my best mates. I felt worse knowing that Lily was probably the one making him so insistent and that she would be less than pleased with his cryptic responses. That thought alone was enough to make me add my own sigh to the mix before giving my bag a quick check over. Everything seemed to be in order. Worse, I was fully packed and now had nothing else to do.

As today had already been way off my robotic schedule, I decided to leave the room. Grabbing the duffel bag I brought it downstairs with me and began for the living room. The sounds of little Harry laughing were dominant, but with my werewolf enhanced hearing it was no issue making out the other hushed voices as they talked.

"...best mate. You need to take care of him!"

"Lily, I'm trying but he's not making it very easy!"

"James, I know you don't want to push him."

God. They were fighting over me. I knew that had to be the topic of conversation as James sighed.

"Remus and Sirius were closer to each other on levels that the rest of us couldn't dream to reach with them. I just don't want to risk sending him over the edge. He's torn up enough without having to get over it so quickly." I could tell my friend was getting frustrated even through the sadness in his voice. I needed to stop this conversation. Eavesdropping was really not a nice thing to do.

Grinding my teeth together and taking a deep breath calmed me enough to shuffle into the room and throw my bag at one of the armchairs. Harry squealed and waved his chubby little arms at me. How the child had the energy to do so was beyond me. Be it moon time or no, (which wasn't coming up for another two weeks) I'd been feeling weak and tired ever since Sirius hadn't come back. That thought had me biting the inside of my cheek hard as Lily began to speak with a nervous twang to her voice.

"He wants you to play with him, Remus." she explained quietly before gaining her composure. "Humor me, would you." I rolled my eyes at her and she absolutely beamed at seeing such a normal response from me. I'd just given in during my first few days here. I was worse back then and pretty much did whatever I was told while I mentally isolated myself. I guess I just needed to act normal for a bit. Sure, I was still a mess on the inside. But hey, if it got Lily and James off my back I was willing to do just about anything. Especially considering I had a mission coming up that night.

"He's _your_ son." I countered, though I was already sitting down next to the boy on the floor. A few of my joints cracked and complained at the motion and I sent a silent glare toward my knees and cursed the moon. Having your body practically tear itself apart and pull back together twice a month did nothing to help you there. (stupid concept of having to change to and from a wolf)

James started to laugh at my submissive act and I merely gave him a slight glare. He scowled in turn but I could see the smile in his eyes. Of course we then had to cue the laughter as Harry threw an alphabet block at my head.

I was more than glad of the small things like tea breaks and baby bedtimes between play with Harry time. Though the dawn of this new era brought about question Remus time. I was not pleased to find myself sitting in the armchair across where my bag still sat with Lily on the couch and James blocking the exit.

"Why are you all packed up, Remus? Did Albus give you a mission?" way to be blunt Lily! I didn't offer her anything more than a nod before she was on her feet. "And you accepted?" another nod. "Are you sure you're okay with going?" My neck was starting to hurt from all this nodding. I'd never been big on twenty questions either. I was lucky when James intervened before she could speak again.

"We aren't his parents, Lily-flower." he'd come up behind her and wrapped his arms around her stomach and it was more clear than ever that James and Sirius had swapped tips on how to get your partner to agree with you on something. That move had just been used one too many times when I hadn't wanted to go to the parties Sirius' co-workers hosted every once in awhile. The thought almost made me want to get sick again but I refrained as Lily began to answer.

"I know that." she turned to look at me, her emerald green eyes trying to burn holes through my own yelled ones. "You be careful. I won't stand for losing both you _and_ Sirius."

I managed a weak smile at the name. "I'm always careful Lily." she rolled her eyes and shook her head. I glanced at the clock. "And now I have to go. I should be back in about two weeks." I knew the look in James' eyes well. That meant I'd be gone through the moon and he knew it. I answered his unasked question. "I won't need to worry about being a werewolf where I'm going. Don't worry about me." His eyes questioned but he soon realized I either didn't intend to or couldn't tell him. He simply nodded and I stood to grab my bag.

I wasn't even a step toward the fireplace to use the floo when James and Lily had both come up and wrapped me in a group hug. I hugged back. Who knew, I could be just like Sirius and never return.

Pulling away after a glance over James' shoulder and at the clock, I gave them a slight nod before heading toward the fire again. They didn't stop me at all this time as I grabbed a bit of powder from a container on the mantle and threw it in. Casting a look over my shoulder I had to say something. "See you guys later."

Lily scowled at me playfully and answered first. "Oh you better Mr. Lupin." I gave her a weak grin and she seemed satisfied. James was looking at me thoughtfully though.

"I'll hold you to that Remus."

I spared a glance at the flames and found they had turned bright green and were waiting for me to step in. I soon did and said my destination in as clear a voice I could with disturbed ash settling around me. "Hogwarts Headmaster's office." as my surroundings began to spin I wondered just what James had meant with that statement. Holding me to coming back? Knowing him, it could mean close to anything.

-xxx-

"So the soonest I can see him is three days after the full moon?" I asked as one of my hands absently ran through my hair. I glanced away from the huts below and toward my guide whom had been the one to show me around and introduce me to everyone. He'd gone so far as to bring us to our current spot on a small hill over-looking the pack's village. He'd also been the one to tell me this when I'd first got here but it was only now that I decided to question him.

"He's a busy man. Brilliant, but busy. I'm sure you understand." I nodded absently and let my fingers interlace and pull apart robotically as my thoughts shifted. It wasn't odd at all (at least to me) that little things like sitting in the grass could remind me of Sirius. Most everything did nowadays. It was only my second day down here in the village and already I'd been having trouble concentrating fully on the mission. With thoughts of Sirius aside, I was still wondering just what kind of prisoner they'd locked up in that hut. I'd seen numerous numbers of men coming to and from the place and not many of them seemed to be taking food or water. Beyond that, they usually came out disheveled and smelling overwhelmingly of sex. I hadn't been able to hide my shudders of disgust every time, but my guide seemed to think nothing of it.

-xxx-

"Ah, Remus." I looked over at the headmaster and offered the old wizard an inclination of my head as a greeting. He smiled at me and gestured toward a chair across from him which I quickly took. We were alone among the bits and bobs around us. Well, unless you counted Fawkes who was sleeping. "You'll be going here." He pointed to a dot covering an area on the map he held and I nodded before taking the map from him. "I believe you know what to do, yes?"

"Yeah Albus. If anything goes wrong I'll contact you. If I can." I can be blunt too. We both knew I was referring to Sirius anyway. Everything just has a way of relating back to the young Black. My one track mind could really not be helped.

"Try to use very little magic while you're there. We can't be frightening the pack now." I only offered a nod and I could tell Albus was disappointed.

"Alright then," I muttered and he gave a light grin. "I guess I'll be going. The sooner I'm gone the sooner I'm back." It was his turn to nod as I stood up. "I'll be seeing you then."

"Of course, Remus."

With his response I promptly walked back to the fire and flooed to the Hogs Head. The pub that the headmaster's brother worked at had always been as good a place as any to floo to quick when you'd be needing to aparate. The closest I could aparate was just outside a small town about ten miles away from my destination. Guess it was time to get hiking.

-xxx-

My first week was spent hiking to and observing the little village the werewolves had made for themselves. Many times I knew someone had seen me (or smelled me for that matter) but not once was I approached while I tried to come up with the best way to introduce myself. I knew better than to use my real name and already had one picked out. I'd go by Romulus as the name had a history of being linked to my own. It was a rather interesting story that I remembered reading many times over my school days.

As the second week came, I ventured closer to the village and stood at the edge. From what I knew from other Order missions like this, I needed to merely wait a minute and I would be questioned by guards. Not a hard concept at all. Sure enough, a few of the men stepped forward.

"Who are you?" the first one asked, giving me a mistrusting stare. I tilted my head slightly to the side before responding.

"Romulus. I've come to bring a message to your Alpha." I watched a few of their faces. Some were surprised and others seemed to be considering the idea. I didn't really get an answer before a second werewolf decided he needed to speak.

"He's very busy, but he could see you three days after the full moon." I glanced toward the man that had spoken and nodded thoughtfully.

"If you would all be so kind," I offered politely. No need to get myself in trouble now. Needless to say I was surprised when the same man that had given me a date replied.

"Hey, us werewolves got ta' stick together you know." he winked and the rest laughed as the atmosphere got decidedly more comfortable.

-xxx-

After a short while chatting with the guards the one that had voiced I was a werewolf first was posted as my guide. He was quite nice about showing me around and introducing me to everyone. He named off a few facts about some of the huts we passed. I remained attentive. This information would be important later on.

"So that's where I'll be sleeping?" I asked as we passed one hut. My guide nodded and I offered him a small smile back as he pointed toward another building.

"That's where we keep our prisoner. Not that anyone's come to claim him."

"The _what_?" I was rather shocked to hear news that they actually kept a prisoner about and couldn't stop my exclamation.

"The prisoner. I mean, honestly Romulus! Us werewolves have got ta' stick up for ourselves somehow."

* * *

I hope that wasn't too bad... Anyway, I need to type the next chapter for **Torn Between Ties** and then I promise to get to chapter three of this.


	3. Chapter 3

Title; **Be Death the Price**

Pairings; Remus and Sirius - James and Lily - possible other notable ones.

Disclaimer;** Harry Potter **does not belong to me. Not that I mind that much about Harry, I prefer Remus and Sirius. (TOGETHER) And I've never minded Severus... Maybe he should show up in this story... Anybody interested in him coming in sometime after chapter seven?

Perspective; Remus Lupin

Notable texts;

"..." - talking

(...) - added thoughts

_Italics_ - memories or stressed words

* * *

I couldn't believe what I was doing. This was the absolute most stupid thing I could ever be doing. Yet here I was. I was standing before the prisoner's hut in the middle of the night, my breath catching with the cold and producing small clouds of slightly freezing air. I was really going to go in and see what was going on without permission. I could compromise my entire mission doing this. I knew that, I really did. But curiosity was getting the better of me and I couldn't help myself. Self-control was the furthest thing from my mind as one of my pale hands gripped the handle of the door lightly. Turning ever so slightly made the handle give the lightest of squeaks and I was surprised to hear a whimper inside.

My stomach churned. There was something in there and that whine told me all I needed to know. This something was very afraid of whatever was about to come in to see it and it was more likely than not already hurt. Maybe it was instinct that made these things so clear, but I think it was probably dealing with over-emotional prats for so very long. James, Sirius, Peter, and even Lily could all be a major handful sometimes. Except... Not Sirius. Not anymore. He'd been gone for months. More than three now.

I opened the door fully and took a quick step inside before shutting it with just as much haste. I couldn't be found out. Not that I thought I'd get in any trouble, but I'd be questioned. I knew I would be and I really didn't want to answer those questions. It could compromise my identity after all.

As I stood there doing nothing more than letting my eyes adjust and crinkling my nose in disgust at the smell, the whimpers died down. The quicker breathing began to slow as if the person on the other side of the room was preparing them self. I could see they were tense and stiff quite a bit more clearly than expected as the person happened to be at a complete lack of clothing. I felt my heart going out to the poor soul even without knowing who they were. Or if I even knew them for that matter. It really was dark in here and with the smells messing with my head...

-xxx-

"So Romulus, you seen the prisoner yet?" a gruff voice asked me and I turned to see my guard. Quite recently I had figured out that the man was named Regnal and took this thought with me as I played with the idea of actually calling him by it.

"No, Regnal, I haven't." My voice was rather light, hopefully sounding as if I really didn't care either way. Of course, I had an idea on how to change the conversation did he pick up the tension I could hardly restrain from my voice. It wouldn't do to have him pry. Not after everything that had happened last night. I may just spill and ruin my whole facade.

"Maybe I'll take you don't there later." Regnal grinned before motioning in the general direction in which food could be picked up in. "For now, I say we get some breakfast." I gave the slightest of grins before nodding and following him toward another section of huts.

-xxx-

Being a werewolf had its perks. For one, my sight focused with the small amount of light relatively quickly and before long the figure on the other side of the room was decidedly male. He had long dark hair and was rather thin as if hardly getting enough to eat. I took a hesitant step forward and he flinched. Biting at my bottom lip I decided to talk. This was probably the best decision I'd ever made in my entire life. Except maybe the time I got together with Sirius. I could still remember the tentative kiss, that way he surprisingly let us take it as slow as I wanted to...

"I'm not going to hurt you." I offered quietly, making sure to stand with my arms loosely at my sides and my eyes just where I could see the darkened shadows of his own.

"Oh fucking hell... I'm hallucinating again." My eyes widened at not only the colorful use of words, the implications behind them, and their weakness, but at their _very_ familiar tone.

"Sirius?!" I couldn't stop the hiss of the shocked, excited, and _unbelieving_ word. I couldn't even stop myself from taking another quick step forward to effectively bring me right to the prisoner's side. "Oh my god... Tell me it isn't you..." But it was too late. I already knew it was Sirius. _My_ Sirius. I managed to stop myself from reaching out as he began to speak again.

"Don't fucking mess with my head..." I could hear the beginnings of tears edging on his voice, the want to believe I was really there...

"Don't be like that." it was too natural a response for me to not use. Even after everything his being gone had done to me I felt myself swing back into being near him much more quickly than I'd have ever believed possible. "It makes me feel unwanted." I supplied to soften the blow.

"Is it you, Remus? Or is it just wishful thinking like all the other times? You know, it really isn't logical for you to be here." Sirius was talking about logic. The world was probably about to end. I couldn't help but grin at my own thoughts as I hesitantly reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from his face. He flinched at first, but quickly craned his neck into my fingers. I left them where they were and took a slow, deep breath.

"Albus sent me. He didn't tell me it was the same village." I felt tears prickling at my own eyes. So many emotions were gushing through me I wasn't sure which one to follow. For one, I was happy to see the one man I'd ever loved as more than a friend. But I was sad that he was in such a condition. He was cut up a bit, bruised, obviously mentally disturbed... I bit my lip once more and this time tasted blood as more of my feelings made themselves distinct. I was angry. Very angry at every werewolf in this camp that would dare to make me feel so welcome after they'd done such a thing to my best friend and lover. "But that doesn't matter. I'm going to get you out of here, Sirius..."

"You've got a mission, don't you?" I couldn't say anything as his question struck me. Sure I had a mission. But it didn't matter anymore. Not only would everyone understand that the former Black heir came first, it just so happened that the very same young man was a very important member of the Order. I didn't mind dropping the whole mission here and now as long as I could take him back to safety. Nonetheless I nodded slowly and he grinned humorlessly. "You need to finish it before you think about me."

"No!" I was surprised to hear myself growl at him, to feel my hand stiffen in anger at the very idea that the animagus would suggest such a thing. I heard him chuckle. I mean, in such a state of body and situation he was fucking _chuckling _at me. What the hell?

"This is why I love you, Moony." he let the chuckling die down as he moved a little bit closer to me. I took that as a sign that I should be more then okay with pulling his head into my lap and stroking his hair while we talked. Okay, so I'm a romantic sap. I get it. But it's Sirius _fucking_ Black. Do you really blame me?

"I love you too, Padfoot." it felt nice to use our old nicknames. To sit/lay here and pretend that there weren't evil werewolves that would lock up and rape an innocent man just outside the thin door of the small hut. Oh shit! "Are... Are you alright with... I mean... They..."

"I need you to do this, even if I'm scared shitless." at least he understood. I don't know what I'd have done did I have to explain.

I said nothing and for a little while we contented ourselves to the silence around us. I could feel him tensing and relaxing, tensing and relaxing. Over and over again as he tried to remind himself that it was really me. That I'd never ever hurt him and that I loved him so much I wasn't snogging his brains out or fucking him senseless like I wanted to. Or maybe I didn't. Maybe part of me understood and repressed the hormonal urges because I knew it would just hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him. Not ever.

-xxx-

"So Romulus," I turned from where I sat staring into the distance to see Regnal grinning at me. I offered him my usual, shy smile and he seemed satisfied enough. "You want to go check out that prisoner?" My eyes must have widened because he was suddenly laughing at me and I truly couldn't think of anything funny within the situation.

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms and trying to look indignant. He only laughed harder before finally choking out a response.

"You looked horrified when I mentioned the prisoner. 'Spose you're not into that kind of stuff." he let his laughs die before going on. "We don't have to go. I was only suggesting." Regnal winked and I rolled my eyes.

"It's not _that_ funny."

"Sure, Romulus. Believe what you want."

-xxx-

"Remus..?"

His words broke the comfortable silence we had both fallen into and I couldn't help but to smile down at his lightly broken (but still undeniably beautiful) body. "Yeah, Sirius?" I asked, thumb running over one of his temples in a gentle manner.

"Would you... uh... kiss me?"

I would be lying did I try and tell you I wasn't surprised by the question. After what I could assume by the mess of the hut around us, the smells, the way all the werewolves referred to the prisoner... One would just think it uncanny to have the young Black asking such a thing. He must have noticed my shocked look for he quickly looked away in a style not unlike that of a kicked puppy. I knew I had to say something fast.

"Do you really want me to, Siri?" it was a mere whisper, but I knew he could hear me very clearly as he finally looked back at me with more of a surprise on his face. Determination. What was he so determined about?

After what seemed forever he nodded toward me and muttered, "Please?" I couldn't refuse him and quickly complied by leaning my head down and carefully capturing his bruised lips with my own. He shuddered at first, body stiffening as he took quick, even breaths through his nose. I was just about to pull away (feeling bad, of course) when I finally felt him relax into the kiss. Feeling a bit more brave I gently eased to kiss into something just a bit more deep as my hands both moved to hold his head softly (but firmly) into place.

This went on for a little bit before I pulled away. We both took the chance to breathe and I was relieved to see my boyfriend smiling back at me. God I loved that man. And I sure as hell had missed our sweet little moments however tentative they were now.

"Thanks, Moony." I heard him mutter softly as he pulled himself away from me and sat up.

I was rather surprised at the new lack of warmth in my lap but chose to ignore it in favor of my lover's comfort. "Anytime. You know I'd do anything for you." and it was true. If Sirius told me to strip naked and jump off the Astronomy Tower back at Hogwarts I'd do so without hesitance. He meant the world to me and not even a million and one defilements of my little grim could make me any less sure that I wanted him as my own forever.

"You should go, Remmy..." I heard him whisper, voice awfully small as if he was suddenly a nervous little schoolboy about to ask out his crush. I didn't get a chance to answer before he pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged back, knowing that I wouldn't question him. The touch meant everything. I knew that I wouldn't be able to save him right this moment. I had to finish my mission first and that was simply fact.

"I love you, Sirius." I murmured into his very unwashed hair. I felt a wet spot leaking onto my shoulder where his head was currently buried.

"I love you, Remus. Now get going."

And I did. Tears leaking out of my eyes to match those of my best friend and lover.

* * *

I'm so sorry about the wait! I couldn't think of how to get my thoughts out and then I fell ill. But I finished this up and here it is! I hope you guys like it!

Please let me know if you have any suggestions or comments. Reviews make me very happy!


	4. Chapter 4

Title; **Be Death the Price**

Pairings; Remus and Sirius - James and Lily - possible other notable ones.

Disclaimer;** Harry Potter** _could_ belong to me. If my name was J. K. Rowling... But it doesn't. And sadly I'm not being paid.

Perspective; Remus Lupin

Notable texts;

"..." - talking

(...) - added thoughts

_Italics_ - memories or stressed words

* * *

Pain was something I was quite use to by now. But no matter how use to it I was, it always came as a shock to my nervous system and instantly paralyzed me as I fell easily to the ground, transforming into my monthly beast. Around me the entire village was doing the same thing. It was strange, I had thought earlier that day. I had never before transformed while other werewolves were around too. Of course, I wasn't exactly focused on this fact as pain wracked my body and I couldn't stop myself from screaming. My thoughts were consumed of bones breaking and realigning in their sockets and fur erupting from my skin. God I hoped that next month my Sirius would be here to take care of me.

--

I couldn't be completely sure of what had happened as my eyes flickered open with an unsuppressed groan. I knew only that I was tired and in pain and really wanted to sleep for say... fifty years? Of course I couldn't do that, even if my eye lids were drooping where I lay in a heap on the ground. Where was I anyway? And why did everything hurt so much? It had been hurting a little more recently, I knew that was because of a lack of Padfoot there with Moony. It didn't make sense that it would hurt more being around other lycans... Maybe that was what had happened. Maybe the werewolves hadn't liked me. Maybe they'd actually gone so far as to attack me.

It wouldn't have been hard for the pack to inflict so much damage on me. There were a lot more of them and even if I became stronger and swifter as a beast, they did too. I felt more than heard myself whimper. Blood was pounding in my ears and my entire body protested as I rolled onto my side. I couldn't help but cry out as pain jarred my arms and legs as I continued to try and get up. All I accomplished was falling hard into the grass once again. This could not be good. A familiar swell of panic attacked me and it took all my willpower to drown it down.

If I could only think of something different, maybe I could get my mind off my injuries and somehow trick myself into finding my way back to the village. I closed my eyes, trying to relax my entire body. An image formed in my head. Deliciously pale skin, defined pink lips, silvered eyes, sleek black hair... I took a deep breath, holding both the air and picture in me as I forced myself into a sitting position. The air escaped me in a half groan and I had to throw out an already _burning_ arm to keep myself up. Sirius' face faded from my mind and I managed to open my eyes again.

It was awkward to look down at myself and see my own naked flesh before me, most of it red with blood... Oh shit. It all hurt worse now that I could see it. I sucked in several quick breaths without exhaling and held them for a moment before forcing myself to regulate my oxygen intake once more. I just needed to calm myself down. Once I accomplished that, I could distract myself again and keep going. It would be slow, and I knew it. I might even collapse. I was well aware of all the cons in my plan. It would not help me heal at all to stress myself like this but I had so much to lose if I just lay here and bled to death. The Order needed me. That meant Albus, Minerva, Frank, Alice, Peter, and the rest.

I managed to sit up _without_ the support of my cut up arms.

James and Lily needed me. They were my best friends in the entire world. They were expecting me back very soon. I couldn't make them experience _another_ loss.

I braced myself by biting hard into my bottom lip.

Harry needed me. The little tyke seemed quite attached to me. I could see his arms now, chubby with baby fat as he tried to coax me into playing with him on the living room floor.

I stood up and practically attacked the nearest tree for support. "Fuck!" I heard myself gasp, pain crawling through my flesh. My eyes closed again. One other person needed me. And sure I'd already thought of him, but he meant enough to me to grace another inspiration on.

Sirius needed me to save him from this hell hole. He'd need me to help him know it was alright. He'd been raped... it wasn't the end of the world. I still loved him so very much that sometimes I thought I may be going crazy.

I took a step and grabbed the next tree. It was in this fashion that I arrived close to the werewolf village I both loved and despised. I didn't let myself stop until my vision turned red and a darker red blob could be seen hurdling toward me shouting my 'name' in a frantic and very frightened voice. I felt myself smile.

"G'morning, Regnal." with those words, I felt my arms slip away from the tree I had been holding. I almost wondered why the ground was coming up to meet me before I realized I was losing consciousness.

--

It was a strange place. The darkness of one's own mind. The dreamworld that sleep does not quite compare to. It was a place that let you in upon how your body felt, but not completely. Everything felt hot, and strange. As if I were to let myself leave this place it would be nothing but pain. I needed to awaken though. I'd been here far to long. And though within this world I was unable to remember what was going on, I just knew something bigger than my own pain was at stake. That things needed to be sorted out no matter how bad it got once I was to awaken. People needed me.

My eyes blinked open very slowly and I immediately cried out in dazed pain as light hit my very sensitive eyes. Someone above me started muttering to them self and I could only catch a few well placed cuss words and an order to dim the lights. Once they were darkened a bit I let myself adjust very slowly. I hurt all over but could tell I was getting better. Werewolves healed more quickly, (not by very much, however) though magical wounds especially from their own kind were healed at a much slower (though still faster than a normal human) rate than others.

The voice above me spoke again and I had the sense to look up. It was the Alpha. I knew my mouth was hanging open because an uncomfortable sting was attacking my lip. My eyes were wide, the telltale signs of headache for proof. "Romulus, on behalf of the whole tribe you are owed apologies for our actions. Out of our control or not, this is a terrible thing for us to do." It took me a moment to realize he meant my injuries. Slowly I began to shake my head, a small movement implying it was really no bother.

"Can't say I blame anyone, Sir. I _am_ an outsider." my voice was weak but I forced it to remain steady.

"It's still no excuse." the Alpha wasn't going to let me take the blame and I decided I was done arguing. "What did you want to talk to me about, Romulus?" he asked then and I searched my mind very carefully to make sure I said everything correctly.

"I'm a traveler, you know. And I've heard things. Lot's of things. I thought it would be best to warn you, other packs are not so courteous anymore. It would be wise to be prepared." I thought that sounded good enough and was rewarded by the crease in the Alpha's forehead as he looked troubled over the news.

"I thank you for your concern, and I apologize for any inconveniences our test of sorts has brought up for you." I was confused at that. Test? What test? My confusion must have shown because his face curled into a slow smile and he spoke. "Before letting an outsider be granted audience with me, he must be watched by the pack for a time. It wouldn't do to have something happen to me." he winked before speaking once more. "I really do thank you. And I will be sure to put this information to good use. Now why don't you get some rest, traveler?" I smiled weakly at him and nodded slightly.

"Of course Sir." I answered, knowing that if I was going to rescue Sirius I needed to get better. It couldn't take more than a day or so to get well again. And then I could finally get my boyfriend out of here. I just had to hope that Lily, James, and everyone else weren't too shook up by the fact that it was past time I return. I knew I'd feel horrible did I come back to find them all upset.

* * *

Sorry it's short! I tried and tried and tried to make it longer but my brain died. And since I'd waited so long to update I felt bad and posted this up. So please review, even if you hate it!

Oh and the next chapter will be from Sirius' point of view and very detailed in terms of his rape. If you don't like, please don't read and regret it.


	5. Chapter 5

Title; **Be Death the Price**

Pairings; Remus and Sirius - James and Lily - possible other notable ones.

Disclaimer; If **Harry Potter** belonged to me there would be more marauders and less godmoding.

Perspective; Sirius Black

Notable texts;

"..." - talking

(...) - added thoughts

_Italics_ - stressed words or memories

'...' - words used almost sarcastically as if they are the wrong word for where they're placed

* * *

_I sat staring down at the beautiful man sleeping soundly beside me, wondering how I'd ever deserved such a person in my life. I'd hurt him, betray him, fallen in love with him, and somehow actually gotten him to love me back. Of course, I wasn't horrible to him all the time. It had really just been one incident back at school. We'd worked through that and everything was fine. Better than fine. I worked everyday to make it up to him even if I never told him, even if I was already forgiven and told I didn't need to do a thing. In my mind, nothing I ever did would ever be anywhere close to what he deserved. Of course, love worked in strange ways and I was glad it did, glad I could spend everyday just being with him. The added kisses and hugs and sex were all just the most amazing bonuses I could ever hope for. I closed my eyes for a moment, deciding it was time to stop thinking so deeply and get to more important issues. Like how to make Mr. Remus Lupin's birthday the most amazing day ever._

_Now what did Remus like? Well that was easy. Chocolate and motorcycle rides and sex and eating big breakfasts and-- no no. Remus did not like motorcycle rides. Or eating big breakfasts. That was me. Maybe the sex was more me too. After all, Remus didn't seem to be as horny as me nearly as often... or maybe he was and was just hiding it from me. That had to be it. After all, I'm Sirius Orion Black. I'm practically sex on legs if I do say so myself. A mischievous grin overtook my lips and I allowed myself to transform into the fluffy black grim my animagus form was. It was time to proceed with birthday fun._

-xxx-

I laid on the cold hard ground of the dark hut, dull gray eyes never staying focused on anything too long. It all disgusted me. The straw 'bed', the water sitting in the dish by the door, the blood and cum stains. I let my eyes fall shut and tried to remember a few nights back. Remus... Had he really been there? It had sure felt like he had. I could still feel his hands in my disgusting hair, his warm breath across my face, his lips gently conforming against my own. He'd promised to finish his mission. And as soon as he was done, he'd come for me. I tried to block out the new memories, the angered pack from the night before. They hadn't liked something and a sinking feeling in my heart told me it had to be Remus. After all, he was the new part to the equation.

My thoughts were interrupted as the door slammed open. I couldn't say I was surprised that the man brought now food with him and was quick to shut the door. I was also not surprised to hear the sound of clothes dropping to the floor. I braced myself even as my breathing quickened. Don't be afraid... Remus is going to fix everything... I just have to hold on a little longer...

-xxx-

_I could hear Remus groan before batting at my muzzle. My doggy tongue was having it's way with his face and I was making the closest noise to doggish laughter as was possible. It escalated into a more human noise as I changed back, finally taking pity on the lovely man. "I had to find some way to wake up my favorite birthday boy." I defended myself with a smirk as the werewolf rolled his eyes._

"_I'm the only birthday boy you know today-- I'm not a boy either." Remus informed him, sitting up and wiping his face with the back of one hand. His lovely chest was tantalizingly delicious this morning and I found myself quite entranced and grateful for the fact that he didn't wear a nightshirt as I crawled into his lap to lick a nipple lightly._

"_Of course you aren't." I said as he gave a light shudder. "Then I'd be a pedophile."_

_I let him push me down onto my back, grinning doggishly as he straddled my waist. "I always thought the pedophile was on top." I heard him whisper before plastering his lips against my own._

-xxx-

I tried not to groan as the man locked my wrists above my head, tried not to tell myself he didn't have to do that because I was past struggling now, but trying was just not good enough. I felt pathetic letting this man that did not own me body, soul, love, and all have his bloody way with me, but there really was nothing I could do. He straddled my waist, further restraining me before lips crashed unrelentingly against my own. I forced my body into shutdown. It hurt less when I at least put myself into some semblance of relaxation. Maybe if I closed my eyes I could even imagine it was _him. _Of course, Remus would never be so terribly rough, very obviously trying to inflict damage.

Any image of an undressed and panting Lupin was already faded in his memory from overuse, and when the shaking pain of the unknown werewolf's cock entering me with no sign of preparation or kindness completely shattered it as my eyes squeezed even more tightly shut.

-xxx-

_I kissed him back, loving the feel of my boyfriend's half erect cock pressing against my own. My fingers slid up his back, eliciting a delicate moan from him before twisting into his hair. I could feel Remus's hands slide down to my pajama pants, tugging them down even as he pulled away from our kiss for a quick breath._

_"Now..." he began and I smirked up at him, knowing that even if there hadn't really been a competition or game of any sort I had most definitely won, "Since it is my birthday, I completely expect you eradicated the words Merlin and God from your vocabulary for the next twenty-four hours." he finished up and I couldn't help but somehow be turned on by that. Maybe it was the way he spoke so softly, voice filled with lust and adoration. Or maybe I was just a horny bastard and any wording was enough to turn me on completely. "Any form of Remus, Lupin, or Moony is, however, completely acceptable." he added after just a moment during which my underwear was also removed._

_"Of course my Remmy-dumplingkins." I teased, reaching up to get the rest of his clothing off as well. He rolled his eyes in the cutest fashion I had ever seen before quickly preparing me so we could get on with the part we both were really waiting for. I let out a light moan as he pushed himself in before letting myself get completely caught up in the moment._

-xxx-

The damned man's release couldn't come quickly enough and I could only be grateful that he seemed too tired to do much else besides adding in a swift kick before getting dressed. I knew from experience that the full moon could do that to a werewolf. After all, my dearest Remus was a werewolf (albeit a hell of a lot better looking and with a much better personality) and when someone's dearest happened to be something it was likely that the subject was nothing new.

I had to admit it was rather humiliating. I mean, I had just been raped and here I was beginning to think about it as if it were normal. As if it could be compared and analyzed to someone I loved and situations I cherished. I groaned to myself, curling up and ignoring the pain that had already begun to melt into the numbed throb I was beginning to grow used to.

-xxx-

_After we both finished up I pulled Remus closer, relishing the comforting warmth of him safely in my arms. I would do anything for this man and making his birthday morning pleasurable was an amazing start if I did say so myself. "Mmm. How about the rest of your special day, love?" I asked softly, one hand moving up to play with his silky hair._

_"Does it include a chocolate cake and snuggling by the couch until James and Lily invade with Peter and whatever new girl he's with this time?" Remus asked me softly and I grinned._

_"That was suppose to be a surprise." I teased, burying my face into the back of his neck._

_"It's not a surprise when you do it every year, Padfoot dear." he replied and I let out a slight laugh._

_"But last year you got a blow job first and sex later. So it is different." I began in order to set about convincing him of my amazing creativity. He laughed again and I knew I had succeeded as he formed a lazy reply._

_"Of course, Sirius. How could I have forgotten?"_

-xxx-

It was much darker out the next time someone came in. At least this time they had food and he was pleasantly surprised that they were much too preoccupied to actually do anything to him. In fact, their muttering between growling at him to hurry it up were quite informative.

"... should have been m... careful... Will you hurry up already? I have places to be. Like checking up on Romulus." I tried not to show any sort of indication that this interested me at all or that I had any idea what was being said. I wasn't stupid. I'd heard Remus reciting that silly story about the founders of Rome enough to know he'd used that as a cover.

After a bit the man finally left with the dishes in hand. Not before he'd let it out that 'Romulus' would be just fine, however. I was more than relieved to hear this bit of information, even if I wished I could see him for myself. My arms twitched, wanting to hold him close, wanting him to hold me. Unfortunately all I could do was wait.

* * *

I'm sorry it took so long to update. My muse died and I'm just starting to get it back. For whoever is left out there, thanks for coming back for this chapter. I'm sorry it's so short. I'll work on length for the next one.


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